Arby’s Reel Big Fillet fish sandwich is absolutely massive because it’s made with a humongous, meaty cut of wild Alaska Pollock. In fact, because it’s so huge, you can’t eat it like just any other sandwich. It’s takes power and strength to lift these enormous fish cuts wedged between two buns. Here’s how to successfully eat the sandwich.
Hire A Body Builder
Body builders are really strong. As their name suggests, it’s probably because they build their bodies every day. Go to your local gym and find the buffest guy or girl in the place and ask them to feed you Arby’s Reel Big Fillet fish sandwich. In doing so, you’ll taste the deliciousness of wild Alaska Pollock and they’ll get a workout. We promise lifting the sandwich equals eighty push-ups. Okay, maybe sixty.
Get A Forklift
Forklifts are generally used to move things too heavy for people to lift. In this case, that thing just so happens to be a sandwich. With your forklift, which you could most likely procure from a nearby warehouse, carefully relocate the sandwich from the tray and to your mouth. However, it should be noted that forklift prongs may severely damage your teeth. Use extreme caution. If you value your teeth, that is.
The Two-Hand Approach
Many people have at least two hands. You may be one of them. To eat the sandwich while using this method, simply grab it on both sides and carry it towards your mouth. With each bite, the sandwich will become lighter and lighter. If this technique is successfully completed, the sandwich will eventually be gone.
The No-Hand Approach
Dirty hands? No problem. Why not eat the sandwich straight from the tray? Simply lower your head to the sandwich’s level and take a bite. You may look like a giraffe eating from a shrub, but hey, at least you’re not doing any heavy lifting.
Cut the Sandwich
When dealing with a sandwich of this size, you may find it easier to cut it into smaller pieces. Though, after you do so, be sure to guard your mini sandwiches with caution. People may think you want to share. They may even attempt to steal a part of the sandwich. If they do, slap them on the wrist, look them in the eye and shout “it’s mine. All mine.” Then laugh manically.